Fat scapula

Today’s Unicorn Fact:

Although unicorns can’t travel at the speed of light, they can get pretty close. A unicorn in prime physical condition can gallop at up to 200,000,000 meters per second (that’s 447,387,258 miles per hour). Each year at the Unicorn 500,000,000K (a long-distance race for unicorns only) the fastest unicorn is awarded a pair of decorative wings. For a period of one year, that unicorn wears the wings and holds the title of The Pegacorn (a hybridization of the words Pegasus and Unicorn) in recognition of their superior speed.

Today’s Unicorn Fact:

Unicorns sleep about 2 hours a day. They accomplish this by taking 120 short, 1-minute naps. Most people mistake these time periods for unicorns looking pensive or perhaps gazing at their unicorn babies admiringly. When a unicorn sleeps, it is usually dreaming of glitter, candy, and rainbows, as you would expect. If you rub a unicorn while it is sleeping, you may receive a mild electric shock, so be sure to use caution.

Today’s Unicorn Fact:

Unicorn attire varies by occasion. When they are going to be photographed or depicted artistically, unicorns forgo clothing entirely and go nude. Formal events usually include horn accessories and braids of the mane and/or tail. Less formal events usually require tutu-like hoof bracelets. And for informal events unicorns usually wear just a simple beret hat. All occasions require ample glitter, which is exuded naturally by unicorn skin.

Today’s Unicorn Fact:

Unicorns do not produce gas. Instead of using microbes to assist their digestive process, unicorns instead use magic. This has several advantages, including increased nutrient absorption from their food and increased stealth in the forest. Unicorn saliva contains copious amounts of magic, which is where the popular saying “kissing the unicorn” comes from - in the old days people used unicorn saliva as a primary source of magic.